is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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