i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
