I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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