Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i love accidental penises.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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