I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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