so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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