I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
