As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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