Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
