I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I will die if light touches me.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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