whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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