why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
