You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
