Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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