That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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