WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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