I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
