I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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