i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
