once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
