i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
