let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
