Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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