Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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