So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
