Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
