Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I want to kish your cheek

(248): View more from Michigan

My cheeks are in Michigan

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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(513): View more from Ohio

CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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(630): View more from Illinois

she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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(314): View more from Missouri

You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy

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