Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
