i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
