My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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