I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
