how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
