She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
