well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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