you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
