Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm always down for nudity.
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