My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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