I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
