We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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