He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
