i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
