Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
