spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize