Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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