She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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