Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
