You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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