Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
