Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
