i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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