so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
