He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
