...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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