i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
