Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
