well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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