I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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