when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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