ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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