the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
