Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
