At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
