I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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